I was changed (1)

When my Taiwan's Man (my lover/my Master) was gone, I was changed, my eyes were opened and my mind was clear. I can figure out who are my friend and who just using me to make him happy but without mercy...

When the time his gone, at the same time, a Taiwan's friend message me to interrogate last time we play. His body got hurt and need to visit doctor after we play. I feel very sorry about it and make an apology, however he didn't accept and haunted me for several days. Although I busy to prepare the funeral, although I have not enough time to sleep, I still follow his request to send him whatever he need. Cause I treat him as my best friend and really feel sorry about his hurt.

Actually last play, not only he and me but have another 3 guys there. My friend and I slave him. How about the remaining 2 guys do??? He told me that one of them when seeing him got hurt has shaking head to feel us very unduly. Why him didn't stop us and give us some signal to stop?? The true is they are lover, someone who feels belongs to him only but not, so one of them jealous and angry, the other needs to pacify him. However he didn't blame them, his reason is they didn't play him but we did..... But I know the real reason was he wants to keep the good relationship with them, because he needs to use his place and his help in future.

I don't want to explain anything, when he told me his body got hurt that is a fact. I need to take that's my sins, although at the same day, he didn't only play with me, also have play at night time, although his hurt not really come from my hands but I have play and didn't stop that's my fault. And not only he confirm is my wrong, he told me that when he discuss with some friend about me those agree I'm not correct. So I'm guilt and nothing need or can to say.

In this case, I really find out that who are my friend, that should not be the guy only told him he has shaking his head and feel unduly of us but do nothing, he really a big mouth guy.

After the play, I ask them to lunch together, but due to the big mouth guy still angry and didn't join us. I don't think that is a right and good behavior. Instead to do his lover a favour, this is selfish and impolite attitude to loss the friendship. Yes, he is my first one to unfriend from facebook after the day.

However the story was not end.... Same month I need to travel to Taiwan. Nearly the day of my travel, he message me again says he know that I will travel to Taiwan to visit his best friend. He will not tell his best friend about I hurt him. But he was very worried that I will hurt his best friend when we play....

Oh my god! That should be to intimidate to warn me don't come to find his friend. But he didn't know his friend have prepare everything and we need to stay together in 3days, how do I ask him to cancel everything?! God will help for it, due to some reason, we cancel the stay and within the trip I keep my promise to stay away his best friend.

In that moment, really make me feeling worried and I really don't know why I will hurt his friend. Although we play, I will be slave of his friend instead a Master. I don't think he is wrong, because he is protected his friend to avoid my hurt. Just a wrong timing anyway, his message send to me after I post a SM photo in Facebook which make me associate that he didn't want me to feel happy at that time.

By the way, his warning occur effect, I give up to immigrant to Taiwan. He let me know everywhere is the same and that's why I didn't join the Gay Parade in this year. And I still remember don't go to bother his best friend anymore.